When I grew up the word “lady” exemplified elegance and grace. Audrey Hepburn, Julie Andrews, and Katherine Hepburn were just a few of the Hollywood stars that come to mind. If you are reading this and don’t know these ladies I suggest you take some time to watch “My Fair Lady”, “Mary Poppins” (the original not the new version) and “Rooster Cogburn” (maybe not the best Katherine Hepburn movie but it is a western and has John Wayne in it!).
I also grew up in a small rural community. Watching these movies on TV were as close as the majority of young girls were going to get in life to these adventures. Our minds were trained to graduate from high school, get a job, keep our legs together until we get married, have kids and live close to mom and dad. Now before I piss everyone off early in this blog I am not saying there is anything wrong with that so hear me out. Most girls took all that movie romance and happy endings to heart and sat in front of the TV, dreamed about it and thought that was exactly how it was supposed to be.
In high school girls gushed over Bride magazine. I didn’t get it. Every boyfriend they had was “the one” and they imagined their life of little white houses with pink shutters and picket fences. Kids were playing in the yard with the dog and the glitter fairy would come dust them with gold fairy love dust every evening. I still didn’t get it. (Sorry, trying to control my bitter here.)
To some I think it was a form of escape. To get away from home and be “on their own” was appealing. However, “on your own” meant a husband to help support you and staying close to parents for emotional support and most were willing to settle for whatever they could get to achieve this way of life. I didn’t get that either but I did it anyway because that was what was “expected” of me. And I failed miserably…….three times. It just didn’t work for me so as soon as I raised my daughters I was out and heading West..
OK so my whole point in telling you this is because there are lots of women with similar stories. Would I like to go back and change some things? Who wouldn’t?!? But to the young ladies who are just beginning on their journeys we old(er) women have some wise, been there done that, advice. The awesome ladies that contributed to this blog are from all over the country and from all walks of life. I sure do wish I had someone telling me these things when I was 17 and who am I kidding, I still need to hear these things today!
ADVICE TO YOUNG GIRLS
TRAVEL! Even if you come back, get married and live beside mom and dad please take time to learn about the country and cultures around you! Don’t let a boy hold you back! If the relationship is solid he will still be there when you get home. The world doesn’t end at the county line!
MAKE YOUR VOICE be seen and heard. Be empowered by your own strength and beauty. Rely on your gut instinct, rarely does it give bad advice. And most of all take care of you because no one can do it better! Praise God and be Blessed!
BE CAREFUL who you pick to spend the rest of your life with! Forever is a long time!
GIVE THEM the same love and respect that you want for yourself. If it is not returned remember there is always a way out.
WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU it can’t be done remember those are their limits not yours.
IF YOUR PATH leads you to walk through Hell, walk as if you own the place!
IF YOU HAVE AN OPINION, you better know why.
WHEN YOU FOLLOW THE CROWD you lose yourself, but when you follow your soul you will lose the crowd. Eventually your soul tribe will appear, but do not fear the process of solitude.
BREATHE! This is just a chapter, it’s not your whole story!
EVERY NICE YOUNG MAN isn’t always out to be “just a friend” so be careful not to get pregnant at a young age! You and your child might get left behind.
BE TRUE TO YOURSELF and remember mom and dad know quite a lot especially if you come from a happy home. Children learn what they live…..always remember that!
THINK FOR YOURSELF and don’t follow the crowd! Doing what is popular isn’t always right and doing what is right isn’t always popular! Always do right!
NEVER LIVE FOR SOMEONE ELSE. You can’t make someone else happy so don’t change you trying to do it. LIVE FOR YOU! Make yourself happy and that should make those around you happy too!
ALWAYS REMEMBER that you are worthy!
LISTEN TO YOUR ELDERS because they do love you and only want the best for you.
ALWAYS TRUST YOUR ANIMALS, if they don’t like someone there is probably a damn good reason.
WHEN YOUR FRIENDS call you a chicken for not doing something you know is wrong it’s the brave person that stands up for what is right!
IF SOMEONE SHOWS SIGNS of wanting to control you or angers easily stay away and get out of the relationship! This is a big red flag and NEVER think you can change them!
KEEP YOUR MIND AND HEART on Jesus and talk to Him first!
BE YOURSELF and always be true to who you are.
TRUST GOD.
LOVE YOURSELF, set boundaries and know your worth!
PEOPLE WILL TREAT YOU like you dress. Dress wisely.
DON’T TAKE ANY SHIT from anyone and if they disrupt your Peace tell them “Peace out”. Use birth control!
CHOOSE A DATE like you choose a mate.
YOU DON”T NEED to give up anything for acceptance.
YOU TEACH people how to treat you.
ALWAYS PEE after sex. It will prevent urinary tract infections.
And last but not least……
LIFE….the older you get the harder it gets!!
So be strong, be resilient, love yourself and never think you are in this alone!